Divorce: It hurts your children

Divorce is something that has become very much part of our everyday life.  There is nothing funny to hear that people are going through divorce, or are all ready divorced.  A divorce might make things feel better and in a small amount of instances it might be necessary, but it will always hurt.  Someone will always get hurt.  Those who hurt the most are the children.  The parents might be the ones that go through with the divorce, but children feel the full effect of it and it has severe implications on them if not handled correctly.

Children are very sensitive and can’t always understand that mommy and daddy will not be married any more.  The emotional implication is huge.  They experience feelings such that its might be their fault, because they were not good enough.  It can distort their ideas of what love and marriage is.  They can lose their passion for life.  It can have an influence on how they concentrate in school.  They can experience rejection.  Not just that, but in many cases they can almost entirely lose a caretaker.  There are severely bad psychological effects on a child, divorce is a traumatic experience.

Success is in the way that the parents handle the situation.  Do not use your child as leverage in your case and don’t fight in front of your child.  If you try to hurt your spouse in any way in front of your child the psychological damage can be severe” says Danie Jacobs, a professional in this field.  Danie has been working with children and youth for years and understands what they go through. He facilitates a course called Divorce Safari.  It is a 8 hour (8 week) course that empowers children to get over their parents divorce and move on.  “You need to send your child for counselling, it is the only way you can help them in this instance”. “Encourage them, let them know that it is not their fault.  Focus on their needs. And most importantly do not forget or write off your child, that is something that can hurt the most”.

Problems at school are merely a reflection of problems at home.  Children need their parents and divorce breaks them up, breaks them away.  It is an undeniable fact that divorce has a negative impact on children.  Would it not be better to go to try everything and anything to make your marriage work before making the final call?

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